I came up this topic because I actually have the experience that my ex boyfriend cheated on me. "I'll never forgive my boyfriend if he cheat on me even once." That was my philosophy until my ex boyfriend cheated on me. However, after it really happened to me, my mind started to waver which decision practically affects both of us in positive way. Actually, I'm still struggling to find the right answer, but at least I have the one that I can say for sure; which is "Once the couple lose faith in each other, they can not recover it like before." There are a couple of reasons that I still can not find the answer for the problem.
In my case, I guess also most of other coupel's cases, boyfriend apologizes to his girlfriend frantically if it's like he is going to kill himself if she doesn't forgive him. He says everything he can "that was just by impulse, I love only you!" "I' ll never do that again, I promise you!" Basically, most girlfriends forgive their boyfriends by his desperate apologize. I was the one who forgave my boyfriend because of that. Although after his cheating, our relationship became very awkward. I couldn't trust him anymore and I was anxious about everything what he did, in the meanwhile, he felt guilty and curryed favor with me everytime. We both tired of it and we broke up finally. It is very hard to give up relationship right away after cheating, but we should know it can not be the happy ending.
One of my guy friend told me that boys keep cheating because almost all girls forgive them as long as they apologize to their girlfriends deadly. It was really shocking to me. That means if I don't want my boyfriend cheats on me, I'm not suppose to forgive him even once. However, I have no confidence that I can do that. Again, it is very hard to break up right away because even after he betrayed me I can not hate him immediately.
Because of those reasons, I'm still trying to figure it out which is the right answer. Besides, I really want to know other people's opinions about it as well.
5 comments:
Thank you for your comment on my question :) Oho after reading your question, I was thinking for awhile. I promise!!! Actually, I think girls are easy to forgive if somebody is begging to forgive. Okay whatever, whether you can hate hime or not. Just try to forget him and enjoy your life.:)
Hey ! How r u ? how was ur weekend?
did u hav fun with ing? hahaha
i reall wanted to join u girls..
it was great weather, wasn't it?
and i love ur main picture victorola! hahahaha anyways,, i gotta go .. see ya ~
I was surprised that I found another person who her boyfriend cheated on her because I’ve had the same experience with my ex-boyfriend. In my case, I forgave him once as you when I found out about his affair. He needed to make an effort to recover our relationship. To display his efforts he began by erasing his female friend’s cell phone numbers. By the way, I lost weight ten pounds (five kilograms) , it was unnerving and I lost my confidence unfortunately. I started worrying about his actions and what he was doing when he didn’t meet me. Moreover, I tried to forget the very worst things but I sometimes experienced flashbacks. Finally, I broke up with him because I couldn’t trust him again. I really want to know why many men cheated on their girlfriend. Did they feel unattractive about their girlfriend? or Do they want a new girlfriend? I’m still thinking about it. I haven’t come up with an answer yet as you. However, I think that the couple who lost their trust can’t do well same as before he cheated on his girlfriend. I decided that I will never forgive it again because if I forgave it or not, it could not get along with my boyfriend same as before based on my experienced.
Hi,seems that you got a tough and exciting experieces there,I am happy see you that you've got rid of thoes bad experiences and momeries from ex-boybriend,life goes on,uh~Anyway,how's your weekend,not all the boys like cheating on their girlfriends...
Hi Rico
Not that I've cheated :p but for the sake of argument. Many of my friends cheated and they ended up breaking up. then they tell me about what they did and why. that made me feel like an axpert on this. Men cheats for many reasons.
I believe the first and the most important reason is for the exitment of it. just to prove they can or to add little exitment to the game or to play with fire as some people would like to say. they know women will forgive them if they find out. I believe this is true after reading your post and Yumi's. My suggestion is to move on and forget about it. its never worth it to forgive a cheater. If he or she did it once, there is a big chance they will do it again. Ask yourself this question, if you didn't find out, will he keep having an affair ?
Not only men cheat you know! women also cheat, I have also seen it happens with one of my friend.
I could go on and on about this, but I think I made my point. after all I am not a Shrink :P
Good luck and Take~Care
Salman
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